Congratulations on just having a baby! It can feel like such a blessing and one of the happiest moments of your life.
But, you can also feel like you lose touch with yourself and your identity as a person. You’re more than ‘just a mom’.
If you feel like you want to reconnect with your partner, and you want to have sex or sexual stimulation, then you could be wondering when it is safe to do so.
Some women experience decreased libido after birth because they may have had a traumatic experience, or they may need time to recover.
But, once you are ready, when is it truly safe to have sex? Let’s find out!
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When Is It Safe To Have Sex After Giving Birth?
Most healthcare providers will suggest that new parents avoid having sex for around 6 weeks postpartum. This is because penetrative sex can be painful due to perineal tears and injuries that occur during childbirth.
Sexual intercourse that involves vaginal intercourse can be difficult at first, and even scary or overwhelming, but that does not mean that your sex life is over.
You can always wait until you are ready, until you are past the postpartum period, or you can try masturbating first!
Can You Masturbate Postpartum?
If sex after birth is off the table, you can still have some fun. Masturbation can be a fantastic release, can make you feel good, and help you get back in tune with your body after having a baby.
It is important that you only focus on external clitoral stimulation at first, as most doctors will suggest that you do not put anything inside of the vagina for six weeks.
This includes sex toys, penises, fingers, or anything else you can think of. This is particularly important if you are still losing lochia, which is postpartum blood.
Instead, try clitoral stimulation and self pleasure at first. You can have an orgasm this way as soon as you feel ready after birth.
Internal stimulation is not recommended until 6 weeks after birth, or until your doctor has advised it is okay to do so.
Sex After Pregnancy: What You Need To Know
After giving birth, you may struggle with pain from the delivery, baby blues, pelvic pain, postpartum depression, raging postpartum hormones, vaginal dryness, and hormonal changes.
If that is the case, then it may be a good idea to wait longer until you venture into having sex again, until you feel healed completely.
Set Your Own Timeline
As mentioned above, it is really important that you do not insert anything into the vagina when you are losing lochia (postpartum bleeding).
This is a sign that the uterus and uterine wall is still healing, so until the bleeding stops, you are at risk of an infection if anything is placed inside – not to mention that it could be really painful.
You should only try penis-in-vagina sex, oral sex, or sexual intercourse when you feel ready. Don’t rush into it if your sex drive has not returned just yet.
You should also speak to a healthcare professional for guidance if you have suffered from perineal tearing or other issues due to the birth.
How Soon You Have Sex After Giving Birth Is Up To You
Even if you really want to have sex, you have to give your body time to heal.
Most women may feel a lack of libido due to breastfeeding at first, or you may have less natural lubrication due to the changes in hormones. This is completely normal.
Do not feel that you have to ‘bounce back’ to normal right away. Postpartum care is so important in the first few weeks after giving birth, so give yourself time.
Postpartum Sex Might Not Feel Good At First
One of the biggest fears for women after giving birth is how the sex may feel. Let’s face it, sex after birth may be painful at first.
Orgasms and sex may be more intense or occasionally painful after birth. This is why it is important to take things slow, try oral stimulation or clitoral stimulation first before you venture into penis-in-vagina sex.
Consider Birth Control
Another vital tip is to use birth control! Contrary to the old wives tales, you are at higher risk of falling pregnant again after giving birth.
Birth control can give you peace of mind if you are also a little traumatized or overwhelmed after going through childbirth. If you are not ready for more children right away, then you have to use birth control.
There are many birth control options such as rings, condoms, injections and more.
You can try the contraceptive implant, the pill, or other options depending on your needs and comfort level. Speak to your healthcare provider for more guidance.
As soon as you are ready to try having sex again, have your birth control method at the ready!
Postpartum Masturbation Is Helpful
Most women may experience birth trauma after having a baby. This could be due to medical problems, postpartum pelvic issues, or even because they are in recovery after a cesarean birth.
Postpartum masturbation is a really important practice as it can help you explore your body, amplify your womanhood and sensuality after becoming a mother.
It is also a safe way to ease into sexual intercourse after birth. If you, as a woman know your postpartum body, then you can guide your partner and have more exciting and pain-free sexual relations when you are ready.
A little self love can help you build up to sex after birth.
Physical Intimacy Is Still Important
Physical intimacy is so important for couples. With couples generally engaging in sexual intercourse 1-3 times a week, you may feel that you have lost your connection with your partner now that you have a new baby in the way.
Try having more physical intimacy such as touching, holding hands, holding each other, taking a bath together and exploring each other’s bodies without having actual intercourse at first.
This can really strengthen your bond and help you reconnect.
Masturbation Can Help You Reconnect With Your Body
Many women find that masturbation can help them reconnect with themselves and their bodies.
Your body has undergone a massive change, and this can be overwhelming at first. Masturbating can help you feel like yourself again.
Just Remember – You Will Want Sex Again
Life can feel pretty tough right now, but just keep in mind that you will want to have sexual intercourse again… eventually.
Your sex life is not over! It just takes time for your body to heal, your hormones to settle, and your libido to come back!
Do I Have To Wait Until The Postpartum Period Is Over?
It’s recommended to wait until the postpartum period of 6 weeks is over before having intercourse. This is to protect your healing body, but you should speak to your doctor if you feel that you are ready to have sex again before that.
Final Thoughts
To summarize, most doctors will insist that you wait 6 weeks after having a baby before you consider having sex with your partner.
However, you can still have an orgasm when you are ready through masturbation or external touching!
It is important to note that this article is for informational purposes only. Please speak to your healthcare provider before making any decisions.
